COVID-19 Restrictions are the new Sharia Law (Satire)

The authoritarian response to COVID-19 seems eerily similar to that of government-mandated religion:

  • COVID-19 restrictions -> Sharia Law
  • COVID-19 fearmongering -> If you don’t follow the religion, you will go to hell
  • Masks -> Religious garments (eg. burkas)
  • Vaccination -> Baptism
  • World Health Organization -> The Vatican
  • Anthony Fauci (or the WHO director) -> The Pope
  • The latest COVID-19 case/death numbers -> Church service
  • Lockdowns -> Sabbath, Ramadan
  • Wuhan, China -> Mecca
  • Being COVID-19 positive -> Sin
  • Getting COVID-19 test -> Repenting for our sin
  • Long COVID -> being possessed by the Devil
  • Social distancing – No sex outside marriage
  • “the hospitals are overwhelmed” -> Bible quote, old hymm
  • “I survived COVID-19. Thank God I’m vaccinated” -> another Bible quote

In this new COVID-19 world, by default we are all sinners (potentially COVID-19 positive), and thus must repent for our sins (get COVID-19 tested, vaccinated) in order to free ourselves to partake in everyday activities. Sinful activities like dining at restaurants unvaccinated or salsa dancing without a mask are forbidden, similar to how women must wear burkas in public and sex outside of marriage is forbidden.

Rather than allowing people the freedom to decide on their own free will the level or risk tolerance they want to take (freedom of religion), the government has decided to impose their religion on the entire population (Sharia Law) – implementing lockdowns, curfews, mask mandates, and vaccine mandates. Actions that individuals make privately amongst themselves such as going to a restaurant or gym are now forbidden by law (similar to sex outside of marriage, homosexuality). Testing positive means government-mandated home arrest for a week, even if one is asymptomatic or heals before that time.

Rather than objectively analyzing the data in order to guide policy, we’ve decided that COVID-19 has to be dangerous, masks must be worn, vaccinations must be required, and lockdowns are legitimate – irrespective of the data.

  • Despite masks being shown to make effectively no difference outdoors, and cloth and surgical masks being shown to be practically useless for an airborne virus, we still have mask mandates – even simply to enter a restaurant full of unmasked patrons. Wearing a mask has become the new religious ritual, and some people even wear them while jogging or biking to virtue signal their dedication.
  • Despite limited data attesting to the vaccination’s effectiveness in preventing the latest Omicron variant, we still force vaccines and booster shots. The CDC has been reluctant to release data for fear that “they might be misinterpreted as the vaccines being ineffective.”
  • Despite COVID-19 only having an 0.2% infection fatality rate (not to be confused with case fatality rate) and not being statistically dangerous for anyone not old or immunocompromised, COVID-19 is presented as this black plague-like apocalyptic disease in order to justify blanket population-wide lockdown measures.
  • Despite hospitals having always operated at 85% capacity, this narrative of “the hospitals are overwhelmed” is repeatedly parroted to justify restrictions
  • Anyone who questions the COVID-19 fear narrative (religion) or lockdown policies (the Church) is silenced, fired from their job, and banned from public discourse on the big tech platforms like Youtube, Facebook, Twitter.

At least Sharia Law doesn’t pretend to be based on some kind of objective scientific rationality.

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